10 Least Sexy Foods to Order on a Date
Food and romance go together like Lady and the Tramp, but not everybody can be as adorable as two misplaced dogs with a plate of spaghetti when it comes to dating and dining.
Food can be very sexy or very unsexy depending on how you eat it, what you are eating and what it does to your body. Some foods are an absolute turn off. If you want to avoid a look of disgust from across the table, shy away from these selections.
While broccoli might be healthy, this green food can make you gassy, very gassy. The only trumpets you want on your date are the live band, so skip broccoli if you don’t want to make some noise. Plus, all of the little green bits can get stuck in your teeth. Smile!
These flavorful stalks have an unfortunate and pungent side effect, they make your urine smell terrible. The effects of asparagus don’t end there either, they can add a funky odor to other bodily fluids as well, and gentlemen can experience a nasty flavor change.
Responsible for mouth-watering flavor in many dishes, the smell of onions and garlic can hang around on your breath and fingertips for days afterwards like an awkward hook-up. If you’re looking for some end-of-the-night smooching, skip the onions and garlic or you might make your date cry instead.
Poutine is one of those guilty pleasures. Greasy fries covered in messy gravy and cheese curds might be delicious but will leave you bloated and smelly on a date. Poutine is best reserved for your at-home Thursday night Netflix marathons.
While it might be a tummy ‘yes’ to order a huge burger with the works, it’s definitely a date time ‘no!’. With all of the sauces, grease, and extras these calorie laden foods come with you’ll end up bloated and feeling sick, and your date will be turned off. Who wants to watch a stranger stretch to cram an oversized bite of grilled cow in their mouth?
Beans, beans the magical fruit the more you eat… the less call backs you get. Beans are another one of those enchanting gas-causing foods. Stomach rumblings halfway through a movie definitely does not spell Happily Ever After.
No matter how hungry you are, it will probably get on the nerves of your date and the establishments staff if you order half of the menu. It looks bad, and then you have to endure the awkward wait when their food has arrived and yours hasn’t.
Like we said, unless you are an animated Disney dog, it’s hard to make Spaghetti an appealing date time dish. Besides all of the indigestion from the red sauce and the smelly breath from the spices, it’s hard to look attractive and interested while you either a) slurp noodles like a maniac or b) attempt to twirl noodles around your fork like a dinnertime Cirque Du Soleil.
As mentioned in No. 5, red meat might be tasty but it is definitely not sexy. Any meaty sauce covered thing you have to pick up and tear at with your teeth is a recipe for disaster. Maybe Wilma Flintstone could get away with it, but we say pass on this one.
Unless it’s St. Patrick’s Day, you might want to stay away from this particular dish. Not only is it an incredibly unsexy dish to order but you might spend more time trying to stifle your gas then interacting with your date.