If you had told me yesterday that when the Vikings played the Bears today that the starting quarterback would get hurt and the backup would lead their team to sound victory I would have been quite excited.

Then Sunday happened.

Before anyone overreacts to this sentiment, I would bet a paycheck that Fumble Cousins is a really nice guy who loves his family, doesn't cheat on his wife, helps old ladies cross the street, and get confused at buffet lines. I don't wish anything horrible to happen to him. I hope he has a long happy and healthy life.But if somehow he could be incapacitated painlessly so that whoever the Vikings backup is (I honestly don't know), could get a crack at throwing for 180 yards, a TD and a pick without fumbling, I would find a small amount of satisfaction in that.

Before today I did still have a vague hope that there was hope. There isn't.

If the Vikings were the Titanic, Cousins is the iceberg.

Reason #1 There Is No Hope - The O-Line

The Vikings offensive line was as impenetrable as a wet coffee filter with a hole in it. Bears players. Fumble Cousins is not known for his ability to make a quick decision and get rid of the ball in under five seconds. But against the Bears he didn't even have 3 seconds on most plays to get rid of the ball.

Reason #2 There Is No Hope - Thielen Isn't Getting the Ball

Adam Thielen had two catches for six yards against the Bears. 2 for 6. Most of the time when Thielen is open, Fumble Cousins throws it over or behind him. He went from an insane 2017 season to being average through no fault of his own.

Reason #3 There Is No Hope - Fumble Cousins

Two more fumbles today. That's six fumbles in four games. In 2017, Case Keenum had one fumble all season. He fumbled 11 times the following year in Denver, but the Broncos were terrible. And that was all of 2018. Fumble Cousins is more than halfway there in only four games.

On the bright side, I really don't care. Because the American League Central Division Champion Bombasota Twins begin the ALDS on Friday against the Yankees. I look forward to them finally beating the Yankees in a postseason series and helping me forget about the Purple.