Seeding the Summit League Basketball Mascots
With Selection Sunday less than a week away, I decided to put my own spin on March Madness, specifically with the Summit League and its member schools' mascots.
As the selection committee's sole member, here's my take on what an NCAA bracket full of Summit League mascots would look like.
No. 1 Seed: Don the Mastodon (Fort Wayne)
He's ripped, his figure is perfect and his tusks could pierce any substance on earth. Don the Mastodon is everything you want in a mascot and more. He's the ideal blend of tenacity and comfort.
No. 2 Seed: Durango (Omaha)
A wrangler straight from the fires of hell, this mascot is not to be trifled with. If you see Durango walking your direction, swiftly turn and run the other way before he lassos you and drags you away.
No. 3 Seed: Thundar (North Dakota State)
It takes a lot for a mascot to break out of his shell and be him or herself. Fortunately, Thundar feels confident enough in who he is to act and dress how he likes.
He just reminds me of the childhood fun that took place at Gigglebees.
Can you imagine how soft it would be to hug Jack the Jackrabbit? He looks so inviting, it's like he's calling me to a home I never knew of.
Is having multiple mascots cheating? Maybe, but there weren't a whole lot of rules or guidelines for this seeding process.
Nothing against Eli, but the eyebrows just throw the entire vibe off. If his beak falls into my blind spot, he looks more like an owl than a golden eagle.
If we're going with Western Illinois football's real bulldog, Rocky jumps up near the top of the seeding. But the Rocky the Bulldog I saw walking around the Denny Sanford PREMIER Center was not real, and he looked sick and confused. There's nothing threatening or funny about this mascot.
Denver's mascot seems to have an identity crisis. The students and alumni want one mascot, while the university and select students want another mascot. Division among the university automatically relegates Denver to the bottom seed.
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